What does being present mean?

Being present can be described as experiencing life in it’s fullness – right now. But it’s not in an “instant gratification” kind of way. I had this ephinany where I saw my life as an old lady looking back with complete regret. I felt this instant dread come over me. Up until that point I had chased after everything I had wanted and there was no where to go from there. My mountain top had arrived. It wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.

I didn’t want to look back knowing I rushed through my life and hardly taken the time to soak in the moments. Worse – I didn’t want to know I wasted my life always thinking about the future or waiting until one day to be happy.

The way I used to view success, and I think many of us do, is that success is this uphill climb. A mountain top we are going to reach one day. A destination point. The ‘I’ve made it’ thinking. But my philosophy on success and health has shifted. It’s led to an overall sense of contentment and satisfaction. I also feel life is less of a rush and I’m loving the synchronicity that follows.

What’s throwing you off?

I think the biggest thing that throws us off centre is – other voices. Growing up it may have been our parents. friends and teachers. From there our workplace and the crowds we associate with. Then there’s the media and social media. When we leave ourselves open to others, we may consciously and subconsciously welcome ideas that don’t align with who we are. While we are chasing this and that, we could be missing a vital element – is this truly what I want and does it align with who I am?

We can’t go through life shutting out everyone though. We learn from others and it keeps us from being ignorant. The skill I have been developing is about listening to others and checking their ideas against my moral conscience and how it aligns with my life. If it feels off or it’s founded on self centred or egotistical measure, I disregard it. If it’s about evolving and the bigger picture, I take what I can and incorporate it if necessary.

This has taught me to have a healthy mixture of critical thinking (so that we don’t get brainwashed) and open-mindedness.

The thrill of the chase

When I was striving for my goals, I was giving my power to the parts of society that emphasis worth in external measure (status, achievement, worth, self-importance). But I wasn’t created to gain your approval and you weren’t for mine. It could be argued that we want to make the most of our lives by achieving as much as we can and for some that may be – making a lot of money, being the CEO, achieving something really important in the world.

There’s nothing wrong with these goals but if we never stop to ask ourselves ‘why?’, our drive could be taking us somewhere we don’t actually want to go. I convinced myself for so long that it was an admiral thing to grind all the time and chase the top even at the cost of my wellbeing. But I suffered with this mindset. My dependence on those goals left me feeling off balance and distanced from my true self. By surrendering what a chunk of society says is success and this obsurd view of grinding without rest, I rediscovered who I am and what I want out of life. It doesn’t look anything like it did before.

Is aiming for balance the new trap for perfection?

Sometimes I want to be a hippie living in the deep woods without any technology surrounded by homegrown food and my dog. Other days, I’m thrilled at the opportunity to connect with people worldwide and to share my writing online for whomever to read. Some days, I want to sink my foot on the breaks and completely come to a stop. Other days, I want to go, go, go. What I’ve come to learn is that I don’t have to operate in the middle all the time or what we now call – balance.

The word “balance” is bounced around in our society and it’s important we don’t make this another strenuous goal. I now see balance as embracing the seasonal changes. There will be quiet seasons and times for introspection. Then there will be seasons where I’m out there, grinding and putting those values into action. When I first started focusing on being balanced, I went to the extreme of being afraid to the rock the boat which again led to perfectionist tendencies.

Look at the four seasons and see what they represent

Trees have been very symbolic to my lifestyle and the desire be grounded. A strong tree, one that withstands the ever changing seasons of life, requires deep roots. I decided it was time to focus on creating deep roots and building outward rather than up.

By studying the seasons, it’s helped me to understand the cycle of life. There will be times we need to be still – be still. There will be times we need to grind – grind. There will be times we need to step out – step. There will be times we need to stand back – stand back. Honour the seasons of your journey and you will unleash a new sense of empowerment, peace and favour – one that comes from above.

With these thoughts in mind, I have shared what I do to remain grounded. Your list may be completely different but the essence will be similar.

Make time for spontaneous fun

When I started making more time for fun (adventure, hiking, road trips, photography) I realised how much fun was actually missing from my life. This kind of fun is spontaneous and not tied to any outcome. I enjoy my work, don’t get me wrong. But without the balance of letting loose, that passion can fuse out and not be as powerful.

There are so many ways you can have fun and it may be a matter of trial and error. Mixing my love for fitness with nature and photography is like a mega dose of fun for me. But when I can’t go hiking I also love watching re-runs of Hart of Dixie, blogging and playing with my dog.

Really spend time with your pets

Playing with my dog brings me to earth in an instant. Since having her I stop more often. I take breathers more often. I play more often. I’m present more often. I have found these things bring me back to my childhood when we weren’t sitting behind a computer or looking down at our phones. We played in the backyard, kicked a ball and made tents. We did backflips on the trampoline and played pretend with our friends and siblings.

Take more unplanned adventures

John Butler blaring through my speakers while driving down south allows every inch of worry out of my body and mind. It’s quite trancing. There’s something about the open road, the feeling of adventure and songs about the Australian outback. If you are a safe driver, and I hope you are, you won’t be touching your phone. You’re simply driving and focusing on what’s in front of you. I started taking more road trips, even solo, as I felt it positively affects my mental space, study and business.

Here are some light hearted stories from my roadtrips  to spark spontaneous adventures:

Be Spontaneous; Hiking Bluff Knoll Western Australia in Winter

Amazing Albany; Inspired By Turquoise, Style and Sunsets

Make time for creativity and hobbies

Write, paint, cook, make something, play a sport – anything that is totally you. It’s taken me a while to find hobbies that allow me to switch off. Photography and hiking are two hobbies that I enjoy that allow me to just enjoy the moment and relax.

Less thinking, more being

If we over think without taking any action, even the smallest action, we may feel overwhelmed, procrastinate and anxious. The biggest thing I am learning is to take each day and task as it comes. I have many, many drafts ready to edit and post. When I look at them all, it feels impossible. But when I focus on one or two at a time, my productivity and focus is amazing.

You may like: 8 Ways To Keep Focused On Your Vision and Goals

Meditate or Pray

Prayer has always been a big factor in my life but learning the importance of meditation has improved my prayer life. Growing up in a religious home, I was a bit skeptical about meditation. Overcoming those fears showed me that meditation is a form of listening. Meditation mainly focuses on clearing the mind of thoughts and at first I thought it was pointless.

When we practice listening we sink into a deep place of wisdom and intuition – but also synergy with the spirit. It has the power of clearing or identifying our selfish tendencies or self-focused desires. We are also able to go to the root of who we are and see ourselves in a new light. For me, that’s been a loving, compassionate and honest perspective which is a lot different to how I used to view myself (self-hate, perfectionistic etc.). In this space I also find answers and ideas that are filled with energy, wisdom and peace.

Tips for clearing your mind daily.

Starting the day

1. Start your morning slower
2. Spend time with yourself daily – even if it’s 30 minutes
3. Don’t check your phone first thing in the morning (working on this!)
4. Pray/meditate
5. Eat a balanced breakfast
6. Walk it out
7. Journalise 
8. Drink less coffee

Environment

1. Take the TV out of your room
2. Declutter your space; your desk, your surroundings, your household
3. Tidy your room regularly
4. Surround yourself with plants

Work and study

1. Aim for 15 minutes of outdoor sunshine per day (Vitamin D)
2. Take your lunch breaks
3. Focus on one thing at a time
4. Communicate with your peers if you need time to knuckle down without distractions
5. Create a realistic list of things to do and tick off those items as you go
6. Resist the urge to multitask
7. Turn off notifications

At night

1. Eat dinner in a relaxed environment – don’t rush
2. Create time to be present with your loved ones
3. Put your phone aside and enjoy something that helps you unwind
4. Be mindful of the shows you watch and how they may affect your sleep (I try to watch positive uplifting shows as crime or heavy drama can affect my sleep)
5. Resist the urge to turn to social media and the internet late at night
6. Snuggle your pets and give them your full attention
7. Turn your phone off at night or set a time where you stop checking it (working on this!)

You don’t need to live by these tips religiously to reap the positive impact it can have on your mind and life. We aren’t robots and our schedules can change. By being conscious of how we spend our time and refresh our minds, we’ll feel a lot more engaged with ourselves and those around us. You may also find you have more time for creative pursuits and things you enjoy. I recommend adding one or two to your lifestyle and observing if they have made a positive difference in your energy, focus and productivity.

How do you keep yourself grounded? Start the conversation below or leave your own tips in the comments below.