A lot of new clients ask where they can start when it comes to creating a healthy lifestyle. They are tired of the yoyo cycles and starting over especially with weight management, fitness and eating well. My goal is to deliver you the goods so you can hopefully save years going around in circles. But also adopt life long practices that will not only improve your outer body but also your inner self (think confidence, self-esteem, not giving two sh*ts about what others think!)

Health, fitness, and weight management is not just about food and working out. Of course, they are major components. Being determined in our fitness and food doesn’t always equate to the results we desire. You’ve probably gathered that by now if you’re someone who has set off on your journey to lose weight or become fitter, and you’ve either:

• Quit
• Lost the weight, gained it back
• Lost the weight, but still don’t feel good about yourself
• Feel like no matter how much you achieve, you don’t feel satisfied
• Made the journey more about how you look than how you feel

Why do we make changes and then find ourselves going back to old ways or struggling with habits we don’t particularly want in our life?

We have been taught that to succeed we need to use sheer “WILL POWER”. But that is not all it takes to change and to create sustainable healthy habits. Action is paramount – yes! But what we sometimes forget or need to learn – is that change requires a renewing of our MIND. An ultimate change of our mindset.

This will look different for everyone. But here’s a starting point:

• Some of us need to dive deeply into our past and face things in order to be free and move forward without the anchor of shame or mistakes.
• Some of us need to heal from things due to being mistreated, and therefore learning survival habits in order to cope (hello food addiction, drugs, alcohol, toxic relationships etc.).
• Some of us haven’t experienced wholesome unconditional love so we don’t know how to love and treat ourselves well.

Why do we need to change or renew our mind?

You can change dramatically on the outside – but if the inside is not aligned it may result in:

• Self sabotage
• Not feeling good enough
• Never being satisfied with results
• Always going a step forward and two steps back
• Not feeling worth it
• Overwhelmed by your success or blessings

Put simply – you’re living this new lifestyle with old thinking patterns, and those old beliefs will cause you to question yourself and make you think you don’t deserve the life you are leading.

Our past does matter when it comes to change and – when it comes to fitness, weight loss and overall health. Understanding yourself on all levels – mind, body and soul – will give you a far better chance at succeeding in your goals than just sheer “will power.”

If you have the courage to go deep within and face those parts of yourself you want to lock away (because it may be too uncomfortable or painful to face), you will find that on the other side will be the freedom and wellness you desire. You also may find ailments, illnesses and certain areas in your body recovering too. However, everyone’s journey is unique.

I’m not going to go easy on you in this guide. That’s what trainers are meant to do. We are here to see your potential, ignore excuses, and show you a wholesome way through the barriers. We believe you have what it takes to go beyond where you are right now. And personally, I want to see more and more people going through life feeling confident, mentally lighter with a sound understanding of themselves.

You will never find me promising happiness and health as a destination. Because life happens to us all. And that includes hardship. I do however encourage lifelong practices that enable us to build a strong foundation for all areas – mind, body and soul – which is what we will be covering in this blog. We are going to go through each area in depth. I’m talking, let’s get gritty with it. If you ultimately want change and transformation, this is a foundation to build on.

This guide is called the ultimate guide because it challenges you in many areas. I’d recommend favoriting this blog, printing it off or screenshotting the pages for later reference. Because trying to work on everything at once will be overwhelming. That’s why it’s a guide. It’s a seed we’re planting so once you have started to nail one or two areas, begin focusing on other areas. You may find though that as you go along consistently, the path will unfold organically. And I hope this provides you positive feedback for what you are experiencing because sometimes the journey is lonely.

Contents:

Part One: The Body

1. Walk every single day

2. Workout consistently

3. Eat more plants and don’t starve yourself

4. Allow yourself “unhealthy food” occasionally

5. Understand how stress affects you personally

6. Get enough sleep

7. Stay hydrated

8. Cultivate deeper breathing and a healthy flow of oxygen into your entire body

9. Be disciplined and consistent with your workouts

The Mind

10. Just start

11. But first, let’s declutter your mind

3. Build mental resilience by being okay with failure

4. Never compare yourself

5. Limit or quit social media

6. Develop self- awareness and practise mindfulness

7. Celebrate your journey as you go along

8. Walk in nature – often

9. Make space in your life for – nothing

10. Do less, focus more

Part Three: The Soul

1. Declutter your entire house

2. Surround yourself with plants

3. Change your belief system

4. Address your addictions with compassion

5. Spend time with people who refresh your spirit

6. Don’t make excuses for people

7. Face it – and let it go

8. Create healthy boundaries + guard them

9. Create space in your life for silence

1. Walk every single day

Every single day for the rest of your life – give or take some days due to being unwell or the weather – walk for 30 minutes or more. Make an agreement with yourself that no matter where you are in life, you’ll commit to walking daily. You’ll notice the positive effects of being consistent with this one simple practice. Personally, if I had to choose one thing to do every day that ticks all boxes of mind, body, and spirit – it is walking.

Walking can prepare your body prior to starting a fitness program or training. Walk with an even tempo and commit to this routine for at least a month. It’s an active form of meditation and it will prime the body for further exercises and training. It’s kind of like putting oil in the car before driving it. Walking prepares every part of your body including your brain. It’s a great way to enter into training to avoid injuries, burnout and fatiguing your body. Walking is also one of the best exercises for mental, physical and spiritual development.

During the month of walking, it can help you to think about other habits you want to change or alter because ideas can easily flourish to you. It’s also useful for minimising stress and cluttered thinking so you can approach your health, fitness and life goals with mindfulness and patience. Don’t be too hasty when it comes to your fitness – if you do things efficiently and well from the start, you are more likely to progress further and stick with it.

As they say, the turtle wins the race.

2. Workout consistently

You don’t need to hit the gym or train really hard every day to gain results. However, I do recommend moving every day even if that is your daily walk. It’s the most basic form of being active and it has many benefits. During the week, focus on strength-based movements and flexibility to keep your body agile and your bones strong.

Benefits of sprinting, running and HIIT workouts:

• Endorphins all day long
• Feeling calmer
• Able to handle things
• Better breathing
• Increase in inner confidence (honestly, to run and move feels awesome!)
• You’ll carry yourself better – posture improvement
• All your inside bits function better (think heart, liver, lungs, blood, brain)
• My favourite – releasing pain-reducing benefits (if you suffer from PMS, try running or walking long distance for weeks prior to “that time”)

For personalised holistic personal training and online coaching email hi@anjelicailovi.com

3. Eat more plants and don’t starve yourself

Ditch the diets and choose to eat healthy for life. I’m sure you’re seeing a reoccurring theme here – life choices. Eating plant foods regularly ensures you are getting enough nutrients into your body. When we choose wholesome plant-based foods on a regular basis we are boosting our immune system, keeping our brain happy and nourishing the entire body.

Foods to consume daily:

• Greens – kale, spinach, broccoli
• Vegetables – purple cabbage, cucumber, potatoes, capsicum
• Healthy fats – avocado, nuts, flaxseed oil
• Protiens – lentils, eggs, beans,
• Carbohydrates – oats, rice,
• Spices – turmeric, cumin, paprika,
• Herbs – basil, coriander, parsley

How To Automatically Make Healthier Food Choices

Prepare a food list before you go to the shops and stick to it (unless of course you forgot something important!). Or my favourites: do an online shop or click and collect. 

Health is not about fads or the latest gimmicks. In fact, eating healthy it’s pretty basic. We’ve just complicated everything and listened to the advice of the media and diet “experts” trying make a buck at our expense for too long. Eating healthy – and everything else to do with health and fitness – comes down to self-education, systems and discipline. And guess what? Personal choice of how you implement your routine. If you like the routine of shopping in real life – do it. If not, like me, I can’t always be bothered grocery shopping, so by ordering my shopping online the day before and collecting I stay on track.

Why is it beneficial to preplan or order online?

– You only buy what you need
– You can stick to a healthy diet
– You’re less likely to buy that choc bar on the go
– Less crap in the house means less likely to eat it
– Having fresh food and basics like onions, spices, lentils, rice and tomato paste at all times means you can whip up healthy food anytime
– Less likely to buy takeout

Systemise your life for more efficiency.

One of the best things you can do for your health, energy and overall wellbeing in life is this: Commit one entire year to learn about food and how you need to eat for your body, fitness goals and health. If you commit an entire year to master your food habits, learning what works for you and developing recipes/meals that are healthy – it will:

1. Set you up for life
2. Help you to quickly get back on track if you go through a period of unhealthy eating due to life circumstances and changes because you’ll know what to do straight away
3. Minimise any guilty feelings about getting off track

Start anytime – commit to learning on a weekly basis. Why do you eat that fruit? That veg? What are the benefits behind each piece of food that enters your body? Learn it back to front. Eating well is vital to our fitness goals, brain health, relationships with ourselves and others, spiritual evolvement, weight management, and so on!

Food knowledge will serve you the rest of your life.

Did you know?

Kiwi Fruits are super high in Vitamin C. If you are in the process of recovering your immune system or learning about foods that can restore balance to your body (mind + soul), research the benefits of Kiwi Fruits. And other high vitamin C foods. They need to be incorporated into your daily eating routine. Yes, daily. These natural power foods will assist in protecting you against disease, low immunity and deficiencies. They will also boost energy, focus and overall wellness.

4. Allow yourself “unhealthy food” occasionally

By giving yourself permission to eat an unhealthy meal occasionally it can actually help you in the long run with healthy eating. Myself and many clients find it a lot easier to stick to eating healthy by not being ultra-strict. It’s a psychological thing. When we say to ourselves “I can’t have this” – we often crave it more. Why? Because we are focusing our energy on it. We humans are prone to want the things we can’t have or are scarce. By telling yourself it’s okay to have an unhealthy meal at times can lessen the craving.

5. Understand how stress affects you personally

I wrote an analysis on stress here – and ways to manage it.

Cortisol. This is the stress hormone in the body. It is secreted by the adrenal glands. If a tiger is chasing you, cortisol is what’s fuelling you to run like never before. As they say the ‘fight or flight response’.

Cortisol is highest in the morning and drops lower at night. It can fluctuate during the day. We don’t want our cortisol levels to stay high all day as this can lead to serious problems including excess fat. The hormone needs to come back to a normal state each day in order for our bodies to perform in a healthy manner. Other symptoms of cortisol being too high and not calming back down are:

• Can’t sleep at night or wake up during the night
• Feeling really tired in the mornings
• PMS worsens – pain, length of time, missed periods
• Sugar and salt cravings
• Mood swings
• Anxiety, depression, feeling overwhelmed
• Illness and low immunity
• Longer recovery in the body after exercise

What heightens cortisol to stay elevated into the afternoon and night?

Reasons for the increase in cortisol:

• Caffeine – consuming multiple coffees during the day as well as caffeinated drinks including pre-workout. Also, having caffeine in the afternoon (after lunch).
• Stressful situations; family, work, breakups, overworking, extreme busyness, not enough down time or relaxation, trauma – this list is endless.
• Excessive exercise – doing way too much exercise without enough rest or recovery. Training for long periods of time or too close to bed time.
• Unhealthy eating – high sugar and salt intake, processed foods, gluten, overeating, not enough nutritional meals, not eating enough healthy carbohydrates.
• Undereating and low-calorie diets

“God will never give you anything you can’t handle, so don’t stress.” – Kelly Clarkson

A Gazillion Ways to Decrease Stress In Your Body

• Have an exercise program that is balanced and don’t get obsessive with trying to do more than you need too – our bodies need to last for life
• Have rest and recovery days
• Eat more nutritional meals – carbohydrates, protein, fruit, vegetables, healthy fats, diary
• Drink minimum 2 litres of water a day – more if you are active
• Reduce caffeine intake
• Plan downtime and rest your mind
• Do more things for yourself that you enjoy
• Have some time alone
• Talk to someone about deep issues
• Write it out
• Slow down – take a minute to smell the roses
• Build your mindset – eliminating negative thoughts
• Laugh
• Have a solid sleep routine – same time going to bed and waking up
• Focus on breathing
• Don’t take on everyone’s problems on
• Set boundaries

If we have been brought up in a stressful environment or become accustomed to stress, it may feel like the normal way to live. Our world is very fast-paced and patience is fast becoming a thing of the past in our world. Products that help us slim down and pills to help cope with difficulties as well as obsessive fitness habits – can lead us to stress. Our bodies require love, consistency and patience. Do what’s right for the body daily, not one day. Not one week. Not one year. Do it – for life. Health is ongoing and the more we implement ways to live with minimal stress the better of we will be.

You might like: 9 Tips to Lower Stress and Increase Productivity

Did you know?

Not everyone puts on weight when they are stressed, there are people who lose weight. Stress does not mean weight gain however for those of us who are more likely to gain weight but not sure why, understanding our habits could shed some light. Everyone is different. Stress that is not properly dealt with leads to health and psychological problems.

6. Get enough sleep

If you have to prioritise another step, I would say get your sleep routine down pact. Before I made my recovery in Queensland I had never experienced insomnia – or difficulty sleeping. After a month over there my health conditions worsened and I wasn’t able to fall asleep. By the time I did fall asleep, it was already the next morning and I’d end up sleeping until 10am. This was after many, many years of waking up at 4.30/5am everyday to start the day. I later discovered my hormones were out of balance and my stress levels were through the roof.

A fabulous book that you can read in a day or so, is “Calm and Cosy”.

7. Stay hydrated

Instant ways to boost energy without the peak and drop that stimulants, sugars, refined foods and quick fixes give you: consistently drink water throughout the day. If you forget to drink water during the day, use a bottle and calculate how many times you need to reload in a day. Make it a priority. At night drink an entire glass or 625ml bottle of iced cold water (add blocks). By hydrating your brain and body it can contribute towards having more energy, waking up feeling clear and increases productivity.

8. Cultivate deeper breathing and a healthy flow of oxygen into your entire body

Yes, we all breathe to stay alive! But we can be deprived of a healthy flow of oxygen due to our lifestyles – traffic, being indoors too much, and a lack of exercise. Stress and anxiety cause us to breathe shallow! Hello, digestive problems, fatigue, irritability, headaches and so forth. Here are some tips to remind you to breathe deeper:

Tip 1: Surround yourself with indoor plants in the home and work if you are inside a lot.

Tip 2: Walk outside your neighborhood every single day for at least 30 minutes for a fresh dose of nature and air into your lungs. Walking outdoors helps to relax your body and shoulders. And a relaxed body is more likely to inhale and exhale efficiently.

Tip 3: Take time out every single day to just BE. Whether it’s outdoors in the sunshine or being away from your work and duties for a short period of time. Slow your breathing and let oxygen re-energise you!

You will feel so much better, more energized and it will also help improve multiple areas of your life!

9. Be disciplined and consistent with your workouts

Being militant with our fitness and food is not about restriction or a lack of enjoyment in life. Quite the opposite! A healthy strong foundation built with good discipline can be the catalyst to better performance in life, creativity, higher self-esteem (which means your going for more opportunities) and healthier relationships. Be militant in the fundamentals that make you healthy and strong. Be non-negotiable with yourself. And watch your life and energy flourish to a whole new level.Check out 8 ways to keep focused on your goals and vision.

10. Just start

How often do we stay captive to our minds, putting off what we want to do? We say ‘one day’ or ‘i don’t have time’ and before we know it, that time never comes where we just, do it. Throw away the ‘one-day’ mentality.

It’s never too late to start. Whenever a mountain looks too big, think of your future self looking back. Often we avoid starting or procrastinate because we are looking at the bigger picture thinking “how am I going to get there?”. Visualise your future self and then work backward. Set realistic goals, manageable tasks, and give yourself a little bit longer than you usually would. Too fast, too soon = yo-yo cycles and burnout. Chip away at your goals and always trust that your effort is contributing to your mountain to avoid self-doubt and quitting.

What’s hindering you from reaching optimal physical fitness and a sharp mind in everyday life (motivation, health, happiness etc.) may be a matter of re-configuring your thoughts and mindset. It’s not just about what we do in the gym but also what we do outside every day. To be effective in training/exercise our minds need to be positioned correctly. We need to enter with intention, focus and – a quest. Yes, action is action. But pointless action can be counterintuitive to your goals.

11. But first, let’s declutter your mind

Start the day

1. Start your morning slower
2. Spend time with yourself daily – even if it’s 30 minutes
3. Don’t check your phone first thing in the morning
4. Pray/meditate
5. Eat breakfast
6. Walk it out
7. Journalise

Environment

1. Take the TV out of your room
2. Declutter your space; your desk, your surroundings, your household
3. Tidy your environment regularly

Work and study

1. Aim for 15 minutes of outdoor sunshine per day
2. Take your lunch breaks
3. Focus on one thing at a time
4. Communicate with your peers if you need time to knuckle down without distractions
5. Prioritise your list of things to do
6. Let go of unimportant draining tasks
7. Resist the urge to multitask

At night

1. Eat dinner slowly
2. Create time to be present with your loved ones
3. Put your phone aside and enjoy something that helps you unwind
4. Be mindful of the shows you watch and how they may affect your sleep
5. Resist the urge to turn to social media and the internet late at night
6. Snuggle your pets and give them your full attention

You don’t need to live by these tips religiously to reap the positive impact they can have on your mind and life. We aren’t robots and our schedules change. By being conscious of how we spend our time and refresh our minds we’ll feel a lot more engaged with ourselves and those around us. You may also find you have more time for creative pursuits and things you enjoy but couldn’t find space to do them.

12. Build mental resilience by being okay with failure

Do you know what makes you stronger and mentally resilient? Failing. And lots of it. As well as succeeding. If your goals are too easy, how are you growing and becoming stronger? You need to learn the sweet spot between too little and too much. On one end of the spectrum is laziness or doing just enough which can result in lack of growth or plateauing. On the other end pushing too hard and not allowing room for rest and recovery. In order to find the balance, it may mean swinging on both of those spectrums until you know yourself, your body, and your mind well.

13. Never compare yourself

Studying social media and human behavior for years now, I’m becoming aware of my own (and others) struggles when it comes to social media. But it doesn’t stop at social media. Comparision is something we have experienced since we were in school. It’s human nature. But it’s exacerbated by the fact that all of our lives are on a platform now. So what may have been a subtle effect is now becoming stronger.

14. Limit or quit social media

Be honest with yourself – do you need it? If you feel anxious, conflicted or constantly stressed but you’re not sure why: take a month break from social media. I loved it so much I ended up being off for 1.5 years!

Do you feel:

• Sh*t after you spend time on social media
• Doubt your abilities – a lot
• Procrastinate
• Think hateful thoughts towards someone who seems to “have it all”
• Feel yourself irritated by someone who appears to be doing well
• Avoid doing what you need to do

You may be experiencing comparison: thief of your joy.

Why?

• Too many voices, you can’t hear your own
• The more connected you are online does not mean the more connected you are in real life
• Procrastination
• Too much input and not enough time
• When there are too many voices
• Pining after peoples lives on social media
• Just because they’re saying it doesn’t mean they mean it

15. Develop self-awareness and practise mindfulness

When we practice doing things consistently, even if they are unhealthy, we create pathways in our brain that allow us to live in those habits in a habitual way. They become unconscious. Automatic. Ever driven somewhere and realised you couldn’t even remember how you got there?

That is why when we change habits it is important for us to understand that any lasting change requires massive amounts of practice, focus and repetition. To really REWIRE and transform our mind, we need to focus indefinitely on wholesome ways of living.

But also it is wise to understand our defaults – the habits we easily go back too in times of stress, tiredness or distraction. Basically, when our mind may be a bit fatigued and vulnerable. If you get to know your unhealthy habits well enough, they lose power over time. So, in the process of building new disciplines and pathways in your thinking, know your “enemy”. Know your “opponent” – the things that pull you back and take you down.

And then keep on focusing on your wins and where you want to go. Stay focused and as your journey unravels, the positive things you used to fight for will become the way you live. You will become the new mindset.

On the journey of change, take moments to just breathe, sit in the sunshine, listen to music, walk outside, be immersed in a creative activity – relaxation of the mind is a powerful way of developing awareness of yourself and your habits. It allows you to tap into the deeper parts of yourself that you are perhaps unaware of on a day to day basis. But it also gives you rest because change can be a lot of work.

One reason we go back to those “unhealthy” habits is not always due to willpower or laziness. Sometimes it can be a matter of not being aware of what is happening on a subconscious level. True transformation is having the courage to dig deep and cultivate change that will be everlasting. Take more time out to listen to the deeper parts of YOU.

16. Celebrate your journey as you go along

When you achieve your goals – do you ever pause and soak in the journey? Or do you quickly move on to the next goal or task? Do you ever take time out to see how far you have come or are you always telling yourself you have a long way to go? A good movie to watch is Click with Adam Sandler. We can keep reaching and telling ourselves we’ll take time to pause when we have arrived, but the goal keeps stretching. It’s always out of reach. And that can cause us to miss out on living in the present. We need to enjoy the journey and the process. Take time weekly to soak in both your failures and successes. Let everything sink in, and try to derive as much gold from the journey as you can by reflecting and being grateful.

17. Walk in nature – often

The great outdoors has powerful positive effects on our mind, body and soul. It is the ultimate go-to place for inviting serenity and solitude, as well as answers, into our life. It is paramount we make nature part of our life on a regular basis. The more urban our surroundings, the more vital this is. Your being needs a break from technology, toxins in the air and information overload from shops, buildings and signage. Everything is vying for your attention in today’s world. We need to make time to go outside amongst the trees and be reminded of who we are without all of this stuff.

Nature is one of our greatest teachers. To receive what it has to offer we are required to surrender ourselves and listen in. In fitness and health, we can be caught up in fads and confused by too much information out there. What’s useful and what’s not? Take the time to breathe and tune into yourself in order to acknowledge your own needs and discern what is right for you. Your body and mind are like no other. Treat yourself as the individual you are and you’ll find the answers and solutions. Most importantly, the path you walk will be ultra satisfying and nourishing because it’s totally in alignment with YOU

18. Make space in your life for – nothing

You need to make space in your life to unwind. Much like being in nature, there must be room for your being to stop doing. It’s a difficult practise when you are busy and chasing the dream. But you need to ask yourself if you want to last the distance or burnout and jeopardise your vision?

Read: Why Boredom (Or Being Still) Can Be Good For Creativity and Wellbeing

19. Do less, focus more

Cut away anything that wastes your time and energy. Be brutally honest with yourself. Your time is the one thing you can’t get back. Use it wisely. Address addictions, clear our time wasters and distance yourself from draining people. Be sniper like in your focus. Let go of the temptation to move from activity to activity – and zone in on one thing at a time.

Tip: never ever go on your phone while you workout, walk or pray. This will help you practise focusing without any distractions. Just you, the movement, the inner focus.

Do less: for a healthier body, brain + life. Too much, too soon can lead to burn out and quitting before progress really has a chance to take off (hello, yo-yo cycles). When we learn to simplify our goals and choose to walk them out (rather than always sprint them out), we have a better chance at sustaining our healthy habits and the results that follow.

20. Declutter your entire house

Are you really going to wear that dress you haven’t worn in ten years? Give it away. Pull out everything from your cupboards and ask yourself honestly – do I need this? Envision yourself living in a home where you know everything that is in your home. It’s clear, organised and light. This will also eliminate the never-ending list that looms above your head, “I really need to clean out that room”. Get it done. Move on.

21. Surround yourself with plants

Indoor plants around the home are not only beautiful but they also breathe life and oyxgen into your spaces. They remind us of where we are from – nature. The natural liveliness and greenery adds purity – even in the most simplest of homes. Caring for plants is also a therapeutic ritual. If you are time-poor only include indoor plants that are easy to maintain. Fill up a spray bottle and keep it somewhere in your kitchen or laundry so you can easily grab it and water your plants on the go. A light spray is sometimes all the plants require. When you have a little time during the week, ensure that they are moved into some sunlight so they stay crisp, lively and happy. Talk to your plants, and enjoy what they give to you.

22. Change your belief system

I hate to break it to you – but being dissatisfied while reaching for your goals is not the best route to your goals. Have you ever heard about prisoners who had a long sentence and are set free only to end up back in prison – because they couldn’t handle the freedom? Or people who win the lottery and blow it straight away? Or those who push themselves to become successful really fast and crash once they arrive at the peak of their career? Mindset. It wasn’t updated along the way.

23. Address your addictions with compassion

Addictions are avoidance of pain, the inner you and what you truly want to do in life. They are a blanket to the real you. They keep you from the truth of everything. A quick fix. A coating. So, be real about your addictions. One way to overcome addictions is cold turkey and then as thoughts, feelings and withdrawal comes up – facing it little by little. But cold turkey doesn’t work for everyone and another approach is weaning off (depending on the addiction).

A wholesome way to start this is to ask yourself why you reach for the addiction? If you can answer this question for yourself, it’s the first step to moving out of denial – and this is paramount for freedom. The next step is to give yourself a “why” for change. Perhaps you don’t want to lose someone close. Maybe you realise that you have one life and you don’t want to live with regret. You may be sick and tired of feeling unwell, stressed, and generally unhappy. Find your “why”. Give yourself a purpose. Move out of addiction with compassion – not with self-hatred.

24. Don’t make excuses for people

It’s not your job to carry the weight of other people. Each and every one of us is given free will and choice. We have the ability to do what’s right – and of course, we also can choose to do wrong. As a trainer, there are generally two categories of people who want to train. Those who want the results without the hard, consistent work. And those who are honest with themselves and know it’s going to be a lot of commitment, time and effort. The first group is usually not ready and they quickly fall off the radar. The second group are ready and they embark on a journey that is rewarding. As a trainer, it’s not my job to push people from the first group. It’s my job to work with people who are ready. In life, we often take on too much of other people’s issues, complaints or lack of decision making. And it can leave us disappointed, drained and frustrated. It is not your place, nor your responsibility, to keep putting your energy into people who don’t value it. At some point, you must learn to leave people to their own choices. And only be available to assist when and if, they are ready to commit.

25. Face it – and let it go

That heavy stuff. The pain. Trauma. Emotions. Irritation. Disappointment. Anger. Go through it. Face it. And let it go. They are heavy emotions to carry with you for too long. You must face them so they don’t haunt you later. But we also need to let the process take us all the way to healing – and release. Sure, memories may remain. But the sting of them needs to be lighter in order for us to move forward in life and not carry around baggage. Because a cloudy mind and heart can lead to problems in the body. It can also keep us from truly connecting to ourselves, God and people. It can affect other areas such as business, passions and overall sense of joy.

Ways to bring the “stuff” to the surface

• Journalise or write it out
• Walk in nature
• Do less daily (space in your life for you to hear your inner voice)
• See a Psychologist that actually cares and you see change
• Get a personal trainer – fitness is a good way to bring stuff up
• Meditate and pray
• Visualise your younger self and have a conversation with him/her

Why Journalising is highly beneficial for “letting that stuff go!”

26. Create healthy boundaries + guard them

Really, and I mean really, understand the impact of healthy boundaries. When we grasp the impact of poor versus healthy boundaries – it’s honestly a life changer.

Lack of boundaries:

• Difficulty making time for yourself
• Always putting others first including family
• Feel guilty for saying “no”
• Feel selfish for wanting time alone even if it’s an hour
• Put off creative pursuits or times of reflection because of ‘responsibilities’
• Don’t feel like you fully engage in life
• Life is always a rush
• You’re always busy but don’t feel as happy as you want to be
• You feel stuck or frustrated
• You can’t let go and keep micromanaging

I’ve noticed so many people feeling guilty for setting boundaries just as I did. We may think that by always saying yes that we are being ‘good people’. However, everyone is responsible for themselves and they too need time to fuel their tanks. In my past, I tried to be someone for everyone but it came to a point where some people relied on me constantly. I was enabling them and not allowing them room to grow themselves.

Lacking boundaries can have a negative effect on our mental wellbeing, creativity and relationships. When we ignore the signs we may start to resent things, people or our pets. They become a burden rather than the joy that they truly are because we haven’t taken the time to refresh. We need to be responsible for ourselves and if that means saying ‘no’ – then that’s totally ok. Even Jesus had times where he’d retreat from the crowds to pray and refresh. Jesus!!! There’s something so profound in respecting your need for space, quietness and not having to worry about others for a moment.

27. Create space in your life for silence

In the cycle of growth, there comes a time when our spirit requests SILENCE. A period in ones life to just – listen. Speak less. Put down the “go go go” mentality. Place ‘dreams’ on hold. Gently ask rapid thoughts to hush.

And then go deep within.

At first it’s always a challenge entering this zone, swinging between the doer and the request for a introspective season. But with practise and time, and seeing why it’s so important, this season becomes a must – just like the ‘doing’ seasons in life. Think of nature. It changes and in each season it has a purpose.

Winter. Spring. Summer. Autumn. The seasons change and yet they work perfectly together.

If your soul is calling you to a place of quiet, healing, introspection – or surrendering your big goals temporarily, don’t be afraid to stop. And hear what spirit has to say. It can be so vital to your expansion, wellbeing and overall purpose.

(Whenever I pause, there is a reason and I look back and thank God I listened).

Summary

Creating a healthy lifestyle is a journey and an ongoing practice. It takes time, dedication and the belief that it is possible. You are capable of completely changing how you live and feeling happier, healthier and calmer. Commit to yourself and the habits that yield long-term results. Be wary of trends and cultural mentalities that tempt you to rush, force or take short cuts. To be healthy in mind, body and soul is to cultivate a life that you can commit to, and that honors your entire being.