Featured photo: Self-portrait using tripod

We’ve simplified this “know your worth” motto so much so, that when we find ourselves in situations where we’ve settled (…again) – we feel ashamed and a victim to our circumstances.

But what if we don’t know our worth?

Maybe we were not taught this as a child and it’s carried over to adulthood. Those of us who had our minds hijacked by false belief systems, trauma, abuse were imprinted by people who did not know their worth either.

So, perhaps it’s not a matter of knowing our worth, because how can we know something we don’t know? Especially if there is no reference for us look back on. Instead, what if we chose to establish our worth and figure out what that means to us. I’ll let you in on something though; it’s not an easy route.

Where to begin

I’d start with taking a look at all the patterns in your life that you are not fond of. For example, the same relationships and people who keep showing up that cause chaos, pain and do not accept you. Or jobs that you are miserable in. Or fitness and health goals that keep going in circles. Whatever it is for you – identify what areas in your life cause you to stay on a rat wheel.

Next, analyse these areas. Experiences can teach us to upgrade our standards if we choose to learn from them. But even when we learn why do we keep making the same old choices that keep us stuck?

If you were to look at your life – how often have you questioned or doubted yourself when you achieved something amazing? How many times have you settled for toxic treatment from people because you were sure there was any better or you so badly wanted to feel love? What about an opportunity that you have wanted and you found yourself sabotaguing it? And when you lost the weight and reached your goal, you still didn’t feel happy about yourself?

When we don’t truly believe on a core level that we deserve to be happy, healthy and at peace – then that may keep us in our ground hog day loop.

Somewhere deep in us is a belief that we are undeserving. Furthermore, that if we show up as ourselves and press forward in life in our most authethic self, that it will not be recieved well. We fear the backlash of following our dreams or standing up to someone who has mistreated us. Being firm and saying no makes us feel guilty and selfish. We put up with things longer than we should because we feel we need to hang in there. Or maybe it’s as simple as, we stay in our loops because it’s familiar to us to feel pain and a lack of peace.

What beleif system is taking you away from your true self and intuition?

I grew up with the belief that we do not deserve Gods love – we are unworthy. Almost like, we’re lucky God grants us such love.

But as I started to pursue God, and Christ, outside these repeated statements from Christians, the God I discovered filled me with a love so different from what I have received from human beings.

Kind of like the love of an animal – unconditonal, radiant and without judgement.

I wondered, if I stood before God would he say “You are undeserving of my love – but I love you.” Probably not. And for those who would argue that God judges us – I agree. But I beleive that such judgement is not with condemnation. When god speaks to us, or when we hear our conscience, it is a request from our soul to make a choice of the right thing and live in truth. It is a call to change direction and pursue that which is pure, loving and kind. And God does not expect perfection because it’s merely impossible.

I feel that as I have sought God, and asked myself “what should and shouldn’t I allow into my life” – I have come to realise that “know your worth” is not so easy. It’s a process.

I would say this motto of know your worth must be deepened in order for us to truly break free of what binds us – and keeps us from experiencing a fruitful, healthy and nourishing life.

My first pointer would be: seek to know truth, your god and your intuition.

You will discover what is good for your life and build the strength to implement this over time. You will also learn to listen to your inner voice that is loving and only wants good for you – and will warn you about which doors not to enter. And it wont just warn you once trust me! Oh how I love the spirit – it never gives up on us.

Temptation will always come to us and the struggle with unhealthy or toxic ties – but by knowing God and trusting your inner guidance, you can honestly say to yourself “as much as i am curious about what lay beyond this door, as much as I am having a weak moment, as much as this looks alluring and a dream come true – i’m going to check this very carefully”.

Most importantly: I’m gonna check myself.

Checking yourself.

This is where you can delve deep into yor mind, past and spirit and ask “why would i entertain this in my life?” What is drawing you towards certain things both healthy and unhealthy? If you can answer this honestly, you’ll develop the power of a strong intution and guidance system that will help you “know your worth”. You will also rely less on people’s approval and advise, and be able to discern which opinions or voices to allow into your life.

My worth is in God and God is within me. Therefore, knowing my worth is a journey and I have had to create a life that is contrary to what I was taught and am familar with. There are times when I feel weird and out of place because I am not used to such peace. I’ll fall back into old habits for a sense of familairtly only to realise “hey, i’m starting to love peace and being grounded. This old mentality is well – getting old”.

The journey of knowing your worth, is a journey of self discovery and creation. You are not stuck with old mentalities and while you may still find yourself in situations where you think “not here again” – I urge you to keep pressing in and give yourself endless chances until you see your life move in a different direction.